Crackin Jokes

Loyal followers,
Limited time to be funny this week. I am extremely busy with summer reading and preparing to be Tim's opening act at the Great New York State Fair.
This will be our best NOPL library week ever!
Stay tuned...

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Knocking down the 23 things. Twitter really has wings. Challenging to stay within the count. Not too wordy just the right amount. Follow me!

Cracking Up2 - Jake & Vienna

Will you accept this thorny Rose?

I must veer off of Tim today to talk about a really important late breaking story that appeared in my RSS People feed: Jake and Vienna have broken up!! This is a shocker to no one in the world except Jake who just might be the dumbest “Bachelor” ever.
For those of you living under rocks or watching “The History Channel”, “The Bachelor” is ABC’s guilty pleasure of a show that attempts to pair a most eligible (pilot/real estate investor/ athlete/lawyer/not librarian) bachelor with a parade of single, equally eligible women in the hope of his finding “true love.”
The past “Bachelor” matches have been wrought with drama and disaster and Jake & Vienna are no exception.

When Jake chose Vienna over seemingly normal Tenly (except for her cartoon voice and that weird dancing episode) all single women of the world were disappointed and shocked.
So what did Vienna bring to the table that Tenley did not? How about that Daisy Duke, chemically enhanced figure or the fact that she can drive a power boat with the big boys? Growing up on alligator alley and never learning to speak in complete sentences was also a draw for the insightful Jake.

Who knows? Love is sometimes blind or objects might appear larger in rear view mirrors. Whatever it was, it was not enough to weather the storms of the “real world” once off of the show.

So poor Jake, where will you go from here?
Back to flying puddle jumpers to Newark New Jersey? Or might you even be recycled to next season’s “Bachelorette”?
Keep your chin up Jake, and just remember that sometimes life turns out to be a country western song…

You always had an eye for things that glittered

But I was far from being made of gold

I don't know how but I scraped up the money

I just never could quite tell you no.

“Just to see you smile, I’d do anything" Tim McGraw

Hey Vicki: Maybe I’m cracking up?

“We've taken our Yoga and Pilates practice out of the Studio and into our gorgeous, spacious yard. If you've never practiced Yoga outside, you are in for a special treat!I've also started teaching Yoga Classes at Lakeshore Yacht and Country Club for the summer on Mondays at 9:30AM for members and guests. If you are not a member and would like to take a class at Lakeshore, contact me. So relaxing, practicing Yoga under a huge tree by beautiful Lake Oneida!”

This is a genuine excerpt from an email I received yesterday. Luckily the NOPL board meeting was scheduled for the same night as my yoga practice (finally, a board meeting that is good for something) so I missed the “special treat yoga” that probably included multiple insect bites and embarrassing views of myself in someone’s rear view mirror.
Maybe I can take a morning class sometime just to see if that “huge tree” has any hidden critters. (I will keep an onion close by) or possibly get hit by a wayward golf ball.

And Kate: Who knew that yoga could be as much fun as signing up for really simple something feeds and “losing” them in cyberspace? Lucky for me that Natalie was working at North Syracuse today. She patiently showed me how to subscribe to a “feed reader” and Voila! the missing RSS’s from Saturday’s lame attempt suddenly appeared in the vicinity of my gmail. While trying to subscribe to a Tim McGraw feed (He and Faith are on the rocks and he actually follows my blog), I accidentally subscribed to the entire People Magazine site. It took me a while to pare it down to a manageable level and the patrons who were waiting in line at the reference desk (the ones who say, “YOU’RE NOT GEOFF!”) had no idea.

Sorry to be skipping ahead in the list but I need to mention that I was one of the original members of Facebook, before librarians even knew what it was. I impersonated a college student and used a doctored photo of myself from Woodstock to gain admittance to the former “Harvard only” social networking site. I received interesting “friend requests” from other middle aged impersonators who tried to branch off into their own site called “face-lift book” It never caught on with the Ivy League snobs but was one of the real reasons they started to let everyone in.
So technology coordinator people (and you know who you are) you will have to get up pretty early to put one (or 23) things over on me.

Cracking down on NOPL employees

Uh Oh!
I was told by the Blogger Police (NB) that the purpose of the blog is to comment on our learning experience as related to the 23 Things.
Personal yoga experiences and pictures of petunias do not really qualify so I guess I am losing credit.
Does that mean it gets subtracted from the 23 things and I could already be minus 1?
I can see where blogging can be a big ego trip. Of course if you only have 2 followers, your ego cannot get out of control.
I will try to stay on track Miss Smarty Nancy.
You know from past experience that coloring within the NOPL lines is not my strong suit.

Yoga: it ain't what it's cracked up to be

When I walked into my Yoga class on Monday night our teacher was as happy as a NOPL employee on a three day weekend. It was a beautiful night and for the first time "ever" we were going to hold classes out of doors. The studio is lovely and cool and located just off of busy South Bay Road.
Did I mention that I am not really a "good" yoga student? I enjoy the exercise part of it but the yoga philosophy does not always jell with my love of the finer things in life (like potato chips and air conditioning). Someone mentioned that certain yoga positions might look strange to passing cars but our instructor would have none of it. After all, we have been taught to leave "negativity and judgement at the door". Okay, I thought, but what about the bugs?? This is Cicero, not the Canyon Ranch Spa. Nine of us followed her out with portable "yoga" music playing on something that looks like a dehumidifier. I might also mention that yoga is not for sissies! It is hard and tiring and sometimes not a pretty sight. Yoga pants are not all that forgiving and I imagine there were some dazed and confused commuters on South Bay Road that night. We were twenty minutes into our class when women to the right of me (closest to the trees) began swatting and swearing (Did they not know the part about leaving negativity at the door?) Our instructor kept asking if people were "okay" and like good little yogi's they all said "yes". Finally she asked if we should go indoors. I was trying to pluck a mosquito out of my head who was trapped in hair spray heaven and yelled out "NOW" as I grabbed my mat and started trotting toward the door. Women of all shapes and sizes came after me, not even waiting for the instructor who was trailing with that cumbersome dehumidifier. Once inside, we started assessing the damage. Six bites, four bites, two bites... nasty little critters had a feast! Our teacher passed around peppermint oil (have these people never heard of Benadryl?) and to my surprise it actually helped for a while. It is three days later and my arm was still red and itchy. I checked in a book of natural healing ( a 25 cent paperback that I purchased at the Friend's book sale) and one remedy for itchy insect bites is a "cut onion". Luckily I had just purchased a Vidalia at Wegman's and am sitting here with a cold slab of onion on my arm as I am blogging. The weird thing is that it actually feels better...no more itching and the swelling has gone down.
So who knows, the yogi's might be onto something. I might be throwing out the Benadryl or just blogging more often.

Namaste and pass the French dressing.

The crack widens

Nancy Boisseau, Reference Librarian to the Stars is making me do this blog. Check back soon to see how many of the 23 things fall through the cracks.